Johnny Depp’s insane spending habits 

Johnny Depp is reportedly going broke. I guess Vanessa Paradis took some and Amber Heard took some ($7m but he’s reluctant to hand it over I hear), there’s a chunk on property and blowing Hunter Thompson’s ashes out of a cannon cost $3m. Bits and pieces have come together to decimate the total of $400m over his career.

Johnny Depp Sauvage

And now he’s being sued by his ex-managers for more money, so he’s having a terrible time lately. Continue reading

Be a man like Jason Momoa

America has been waiting for Jason Momoa. Screw the whole pop culture awakening of the sensitive male. That’s just increased our appetite for a man’s man who rides motorcycles, drinks Guinness, throws axes, and does the ‘Haka’ during his HBO audition instead of, you know, crying or something wimpy. – GQ 2017

The studios are trying to make Jason Momoa a thing, in the event that both the Rock and Jason Statham simultaneously break their legs.

Jason Momoa GQ 2017

GQ has released an interview with Jason Momoa pitching him as a man’s man. In case, you forgot he was made of muscle. That’s not a soft drink in his hand, that’s a beer.

Here is apparently what super masculine men do:

  • Hakas in the auditions instead of crying
  • Throws axes (at who?)
  • Camping
  • Rock climbing
  • Makes fires
  • Writes and directs movies about motorcycles (motorcycles! none of that sissy stuff for him, thanks very much.)
  • Teaches his kids about properly looking after knives (safety first.)

It’s possibly not Momoa’s fault that he is now being portrayed as the crown prince of lumberjacks. Granted, it’s not a particularly long article but he doesn’t seem to really speak much either. Maybe it’s part of his manly persona that he only grunts in reply when necessary.

Jason Momoa GQ 2017 cardigan

I see Jason Momoa climbing a rock in a $1000 cardigan and even I’m confused as to what GQ expects from its readers in 2017. Don’t cry, build things, buy expensive wool products to go on your hikes.

The rest of the article is, GQ making fun of us right? Right?

Jason Momoa is so perfect for America. It’s like his body was carved out of the oldest oak tree in the land, then given a blood transfusion from the wildest coyote, and then incubated in the still-warm carcass of the last buffalo on the Great Plains before being crowned with feathers from the only bald eagle not eating out of a dumpster behind a McDonald’s.


Put down your pitchforks for Wes Anderson’s Isle of dogs

It has been an interesting year for Asians in Hollywood movies, Matt Damon in Great Wall, Scarlett Johannson in Ghost in the Shell, Tilda Swinton in Doctor Strange..

The sheer number of thinkpieces on Scarlett in Ghost in the Shell alone has been exhausting. That in itself is a good thing right? At least there is awareness that whitewashing is being noticed and that people will vote for their feet.
Isle of Dogs Movie Poster

That being said, we are a little sensitive at the moment. We’re a lot sensitive and we’re at this point willing to pull a pitchfork out for anything – years of Duk Dong Ho are getting to us. Continue reading

The fabulous clothes on Big Little Lies

Hold up! Spoilers ahead for Big Little Lies. If you haven’t read the book or watched the show, I advise you to turn around and do one of those things before proceeding.

Celeste - Intro coat

Ready for a discussion on clothes?

What Big Little Lies does is fill a Nancy Meyer-shaped hole in my life. This show is all about insanely beautiful houses and everyone wearing cute wine cardigans while trying not to kill each other. Personally, while I still prefer Meryl’s kitchen (forever in my heart), there are seven hours of interior and exterior madness to look at. Continue reading

Rooney Mara/Mary Magdalene makes smoking look cool

I know nothing about this movie. There’s no wiki on it, there’s barely an IMDB – just a tentative November 2017 release date and a blurb about it being the story of Mary Magdalene (I do heart Chiwitel playing Peter. He’s going to blow the dual roles of guilty/defensive Peter. I luff him all the way back from Love Actually.)

Rooney Mara Mary Magdalene Cigarette

Anyway, images have been released of Rooney Mara having a cigarette as Jesus is on the cross above her. Fair play to her, it’s a stressful situation? Joaquin/Jesus/ possible stunt double is just casually hanging up there while she’s having a smoke.
Smoking is bad for you kids, but you must admit that she looks pretty great doing it.

Okay, what do you think? Are you sold on Rooney Mara as a bad-ass Mary Magdalene?

Will Smith is in talks to be Genie from Aladdin. Why would I be upset with this?

So Disney is continuing to stomp on your childhood memories by remaking all of their cartoon movies into live-action films. To be honest, I don’t even know how the Lion King will work.

The latest news from beyond the veil is that Will Smith is looking at voicing Genie. I don’t even. I can’t even. Those are some big shoes to fill. There are questions. Is Will going to improv? Or is he going to go word for word, and how can he even hope to compete if that’s the case?

Before the remake of Jumanji, the Rock was very insistent that it be respectful to the memory of Robin Williams, “The love and respect I have for this man is boundless,”  “You have my word, we will honor his name and the character of ‘Alan Parrish’ will stand alone and be forever immortalized in the world of Jumanji in an earnest and cool way.” 

Will Will Smith do the same? Can he turn in a performance that’s respectful and his own and yet not turn it into the Will Smith Show? It’s a fine line, I understand.


Oh and Guy Ritchie as director too? I’m done with this movie and it’s not even in production.

Irina Shayk and her post-baby body

Let me preface this by saying I am not a mother and I don’t know what kind of mutant genes Irina Shayk has, to look like this a month after giving birth to Lea.

So a good half of me thinks “Good on her!”, it’s her body and she can show it off however she wants to. The other half is thinking about the millions of newly minted mums around the world who can barely wash their hair, have no nannies, no personal trainers and want to stab her in the eye.

So I get it, you do you Irina, but don’t be surprised if you’re not particularly popular for a while.