Once upon a time, my friend Fi and I sat down to watch Annabelle, and for some reason or another the copy we had was hardwired to French. We had to watch the entire thing with a lot of “Merde!” and “Mon Dieu!”, it was not a terrifying experience.
I don’t know if this is going to be a terrifying experience either and it’s in English. Screeching is not scary.
The nice trailer people have essentially given us the entire story in 2 minutes: An Australian couple (Miranda Otto and Anthony LaPaglia) lose their daughter to a car accident, they try to bring their daughter back to life by relocating her soul in a super-creepy doll. It doesn’t work out and it looks like Miranda Otto loses half of her face – Phantom of the Opera style, complete with appropriate mask. Meanwhile Anthony decides to lease out the place to a nun and a bunch of orphans. The doll’s soul (?) jumps out into the orphan with the wheelchair and the haunting OFFICIALLY begins.
I have so many questions. Continue reading
I admit that I wrinkle my nose at more DC movies. The problem is twofold 1) they are rushing to copy the Marvel template by building a universe – Marvel has a nine or ten movie headstart and DC is at three and absolutely trying to shove everything in there – it’s not working 2) I mentioned this in my Wonder post but I’ll say it again, people are exhausted. The world is grim and terrifying at the moment and no-one wants to go to a movie and have this confirmed in fiction for another two hours, the stylised grey palette of the previous DC movies (with sad, put-upon heroes) is also working against them.
So when the reviews started to come out that Wonder Woman was doing amazing things at the box office, I had simultaneously high and low expectations. I wasn’t expecting much and yet I hoped that I would be wrong.
Here it is: it’s a really fun movie, it’s very likeable but it’s not great.
The basic story is our girl Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), partners with Chris Pine (the 3rd best Chris in the world), to try and stop World War 1 by killing the god Ares. You’ll need to bring some suspension of disbelief, you always do with comic movies. Continue reading
Did you hear REMAKE? DRINK!
Dear God, that looks.. terrible. I hate to blame again whoever cut that trailer again, but the first half is some CW Dawson’s Creek/Grey’s Anatomy hybrid and the second half is a demonic possession ghost thing.
So there are questions:
- What has Ellen Page done to her career? Why.
- Who did Diego Luna piss off in the hair department to end up with that wig?
- Who the hell demanded a Flatliners remake??
It really made me want to crawl under a blanket and watch the original – Kevin Bacon, Kiefer Sutherland, Oliver Platt, Julia Roberts and a .. Baldwin. I’m so sad for this movie, which is going to end up as disposable summer filler, watched and forgotten. As the classic tagline goes: Some lines just shouldn’t be crossed (this is one of them).
Do you know what this reminds me of? The movie Mask with Cher and Eric Stoltz. It’s Mask for the 2017 set. That movie freaked me out as a kid, I was clearly not an empathetic child.
Wonder is a return to form for Julia Roberts, and we all know that Julia Roberts doesn’t just do any movie, so it has that going for it. And it’s nice to see Owen Wilson again, who does warm better than anyone else. The other notable is that they moved the film to November because Lionsgate thinks it might have some Oscar buzz. You have to go with the zeitgeist, and the zeitgeist says that in these troubled times, no-one wants to watch the dark war movie where everyone dies, people want to watch the movie where parents and kids love each other and things get (generally) neatly resolved.
I’ll state for the record now, that I’m onboard for this film but I will cut someone if the kid dies at the end. Don’t emotionally manipulate me movie.
Wow okay. Let’s start with the good:
Firstly, the cast – just look at them: Kenneth Branagh! Judi Dench! Michelle Pfeiffer! Derek Jacobi! Willem Dafoe! Leslie Odom Jr! Daisy Ridley! Penelope Cruz! That is a pinnacle cast.
The costuming and set design looks stellar. I desperately want to be on that train in that dining cart, wearing a beautiful pea coat. Well done costuming and sets.
I trust Kenneth Branagh’s sensibilities, I really think this is going to be a fun movie.
However if we focus on the bad for a minute:
WHO CUT THAT TRAILER WITH IMAGINE DRAGONS? WHO IS THIS MOVIE INTENDED FOR???
Over the last few days they’ve sort-of announced that there will be a Top Gun 2 (from the mouth of Tom Cruise himself) and Elizabeth Banks has said there will be a new Charlie’s Angels film reboot slated for a 2019 release date.
There’s no question of whether we need these, we really don’t. Also just because you reboot a loved property doesn’t guarantee box-office success (see Point Break)
Top Gun, the original was oddly perfect. It was a little time capsule of early 80s young machismo and it might not render so well today. Not least because the best part about Top Gun was the homoerotic undercurrents between Iceman and Maverick, Tom Cruise is terrified – terrified – of being seen as gay. So how can that possibly work out?
I’m not ashamed to admit I really liked the original Charlie’s Angels movie reboot with Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. It was also sort of perfect for its time, coinciding with the end of the Spice Girl era and sitting just right with the female empowerment coda of Destiny’s Child. If Elizabeth Banks is taking over in directing duties, it’s easy to see why Sony is giving her this gig after the success of Pitch Perfect. I begrudgingly accept the existence of this movie because here’s the rub – when was the last time we had a three female lead movie where the heroines kicked ass? (Does Ghostbusters count? The whining about it sunk it into obscurity.)
It’s all fun and games here at Pop Culture Snacks today. I believed that when I first started this blog, that I would be mostly covering Kardashians. I don’t know what happened, the Kardashians dropped off and everything got heavy. Come back Kim.
The news out today is that Director Zack Snyder has dropped out of Justice League. It was little known that his daughter Autumn died by suicide in March, he and his wife Deborah (a producer on the film) are taking some time out to heal and spend some time with his other kids. In the meantime, Joss Whedon is taking over directing duties on Justice League.
The demands of this job are pretty intense. It is all-consuming. And in the last two months, I’ve come to the realisation … I’ve decided to take a step back from the movie to be with my family, be with my kids, who really need me. They are all having a hard time. I’m having a hard time – Zack Snyder
I’m going to pre-emptively say this, because I feel some DC fanboys coming out to party that their movie is “saved” because of his exit: Don’t dance on this girl’s grave for your fandom. Cheering for this kind of thing makes you a lousy human being so back off.