The Ready Player One poster: Legs ahoy

It’s almost the most wonderful time of the year and everyone is wrecked from 2017.

That’s the only way anyone can explain what’s happening with the leg from the Ready Player One poster. The entire marketing department is dreaming of eggnog and mistletoe instead.

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Alita: Battle Angel Trailer: My, what big eyes you have

It is almost impossible to get the eyes right in CGI humans, we’re years down the line and it’s one thing animators still struggle with. The actors just end up with ‘dead-eyes’ because of the lack of reflective light. The entirely wrong way to combat this is to expand the eyes until they are half the size of your character’s face. So now there’s plenty of light, but the audience is creeped out. No-one wins!

Avengers: Infinity War teaser trailer: Get everyone a shield

Everyone is here! Well almost everyone is here- I feel like it was missing Paul Rudd and Jeremy Renner. They are absent right? I also noticed a suspicious lack of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel. I watched this twice and still had to count on my fingers whether everyone was included.

Guys, I am excited for this. It’s only the culmination of 10+ movies and a decade of waiting. We probably need to talk about the fact that it looks like Vision dies in this movie (can he die?). I don’t think we’ve had enough time to be truly attached to him, so in order of priorities I am okay with that. Some heroes are not going to make it, and he’s definitely one of them. If they kill off Captain America, the entire female population will riot. There will be consequences Marvel.

Meet your new Mulan – Liu YiFei

Mulan Liu YiFei

 After a semi-difficult search, Disney has finally found their live-action Mulan Liu YiFei. I guess we should all be sort of relieved that she’s actually Chinese. Of course there is no way that Disney is going to let her do the tour rounds with an Asian name, so you may just hear her referred to as Crystal Liu in the near future.

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The Jurassic World 2 teaser trailer with more velociraptor 

We are on the fifth (fifth!) Jurassic Park movie and I do believe that I was the only person in the world who didn’t think Jurassic World with Chris Pratt was a waste. I get it. I am still annoyed that they made Bryce Dallas Howard run in heels everywhere, but ultimately I believe it worked as a popcorn flick. I wasn’t expecting Rashomon. Plus for all the complaining, it still made enough money for a sequel.
And so some marketing executive sat in an office and had a think about what the magic ingredients for a movie-turnaround would be. Apparently it’s Chris Pratt and baby Velociraptor. Not BDH hurling her stilettos at a T-Rex.

If I look at this askance, it’s because currently Chris Pratt has slid down to fourth best Chris (Chris Hemsworth taking the lead with Thor) and because the movie studios have spent FOUR movies drilling into us how terrifying velociraptors are. FOUR. That thing isn’t cute because it’s a baby! That thing will tear your face off and use it as a skin mask. The studio is trying to break down established foundations by retconning a man-killing dinosaur as an adorable corgi that makes gurgly lizard noises. Is that working for you? It’s not working for me.

The Incredibles 2 teaser trailer: Boss Baby by Pixar

For some reason or another, I was incredibly whelmed by the Incredibles when it first came out. And to this day, still don’t really understand why people rate it over Ratatouille. Seriously, if you need a reason why the world is in the state it’s in it’s because people place The Incredibles over Ratatouille on the Pixar scale.

And so I have not been across that Pixar is releasing the The Incredibles 2. Hmm.

I watch that and I think Boss Baby. Boss Baby with laser eyes. Continue reading