Horrible celebrity roundup #1

Welcome to my new section: Horrible celebrity roundup, where I sort the week’s celebrity garbage into the dumpster-fire.

It’s 2017 and Marie Claire couldn’t find an actual feminist to interview for September, so they went and interviewed Paris Hilton. There are some choice quotes about Donald Trump (who is sweet and respectful), women who lie about sexual assault for fame, not making money from her sex tape, pretending to have a baby voice and making $3 billion last year in global sales for Paris Hilton perfume. It’s all so depressing that I want to barf. Guys, stop buying her perfume.

In other news, human waste-bin Chris Brown has a documentary out called Chris Brown: Welcome to my Life. I don’t know anyone that actually wants his life, but okay. In it, he talks about the night he assaulted Rihanna. According to Chris, she hit him all the time so he got fed up and did this to her face. Chris has a PHD in apportioning blame and is graduating with a diploma in denial.

Lastly, James Woods is still being ridiculous on Twitter. Please feel free to mock as needed.

Whatcha wearing? Bella Hadid on the cover of Vogue Arabia

Bella-Hadid-Vogue-Arabia-September-2017-Cover-Photoshoot01Bella-Hadid-Vogue-Arabia-September-2017-Cover-Photoshoot02

I hate to be that person that compares one sister to another (it never ends well) but it has to be said that Gigi is much a better model than Bella, the Gigi Vogue Arabia cover is iconic, you can’t topple that mountain. I have said  before that I don’t really understand the hype around Bella, but you know Karl Lagerfield has given his blessing and that apparently means something in the modelling world. It’s an embossed stamp of approval. Continue reading

Taylor Swift wins her sexual-assault lawsuit

Taylor Swift Sexual Assault Case

I want to thank Judge William J. Martinez and the jury for their careful consideration, my attorneys Doug Baldridge, Danielle Foley, Jay Schaudies, and Katie Wright for fighting for me and anyone who feels silenced by a sexual assault, and especially anyone who offered their support throughout this four-year ordeal and two-year long trial process.

I acknowledge the privilege that I benefit from in life, in society and in my ability to shoulder the enormous cost of defending myself in a trial like this. My hope is to help those whose voices should also be heard. Therefore, I will be making donations in the near future to multiple organisations that help sexual assault victims defend themselves.

Our girl T has unanimously won the lawsuit against David Mueller, accused of groping her up the skirt in a meet-and-greet in Denver. He sued her first for reputational damage and she countersued for sexual assault. The judge dismissed his suit, ruling it as a lawful firing and then the decision came down from the jury that Mueller had in fact, assaulted her during their meeting.

So Tay was awarded her symbolic dollar that she requested and sometimes things go right in the world. What I’m most taken with is her composure through this entire thing, I mean obviously she has the benefit of expert legal teams and coaching, but not once did she back down from shitty,  misogynistic questions such as:

  • Do you feel bad that he was fired?
  • Why is your skirt not displaced?
  • If you were so upset, why didn’t you take a break?
  • Why didn’t your bodyguard rescue you, if you were in distress?

“I am not going to allow your client to make me feel like it is any way my fault, because it isn’t.”

That’s my girl. And maybe that will learn handsy jerks to keep their extremities to themselves.

Rihanna’s outfits at Crop Over

There is no International Rihanna Day, but if there was it would probably coincide with Crop Over – the annual harvest festival in Barbados. Rihanna goes home every year or so to participate and every year we bend the knee to the queen because no one does it quite like Rihanna.

Not safe for your work by the way. So images are after the jump. Continue reading

The return of Kabloom

Katy Perry Orlando Bloom reunited

So now that Witness has sunk into the ocean (no-one can tell if it’s done well or not, none of the three singles have cracked the top 40 yet it debuted at number one on the Billboard charts. It’s also sold half the sales of Prism) Katy Perry is ramping up the visibility for her upcoming tour.

Last week, there was speculation that Katy and Rob Pattinson were together after they were seen out and about having dinner in LA. Katy and Rob have apparently been friends for ages and they’re both pushing products (movies/tour), so it’s mutually beneficial thing for them to be seen having a good time with each other. No-one really believed it but it made good headline.

This week however is a different story with the return of Kabloom. Katy was spotted in Orlando Bloom’s lap at an Ed Sheeran concert, nuzzling and getting it on. This is significant for two reasons:
a) This is a public announcement that she’s back together with Bloom. If they were looking to keep it quiet, they would not be caressing where everyone can see them.

b) I find it interesting that their reunion debut is at an Ed Sheeran concert, and not at Dave Chapelle’s Radio City gig. Ed Sheeran is one of Taylor Swift’s best friends, she helped launch his career, what is this if not a dig? I don’t believe this was a coincidence.

If they want to get back together, fine. It’s fine as long as I don’t have to see them paddle-boarding ever again.

UPDATE:

I completely wiped from my mind that this happened. Ugh. Was it that long ago?

Mariah Carey’s effort

A long time ago, I read an article with Mandy Moore where she was talking about the long hours of being a teenage pop star. She would be awake for so long that she would sleep standing in rehearsals.

In that continued vein, Beyonce mentioned in her documentary Life is but a Dream that she would practice dancing in her heels til her feet were bleeding. Bleeding. Blood in shoes. That’s why Beyonce is one of the greatest of all time.

Which brings me to Mariah, on stage in front of a live audience:

I don’t know whether this is supposed to be admirable or ridiculous. On the one hand, I feel ya Mariah – who wants to dance til their feet bleed? Plus there are at least half a dozen handsome sailors to do the work for you. On the other, it’s clear that Mariah doesn’t care anymore (you say diva, I say eyeroll) so why should anyone shell out the money to go see her if she can’t even make an effort to shimmy.

Whatcha wearing? Jennifer Lawrence on Vogue magazine

Jennifer Lawrence John Currin Vogue

They say that print magazines are dying so everyone has been slowly upping the ante on their covers. Seriously, look at that. Jen looks like she rolled right out of a Rembrandt painting. Vogue commissioned the cover from painter John Currin, who is known for his satirical pieces (I think he might have pieces exhibited at MOMA if you’re anywhere near there).

My only tiny quibble is that there’s not much of Jen’s personality in there. Jen is a loud noise person, you rarely see her in this kind of repose. But I will assume that Vogue didn’t want Jen going full-Jen on their cover and asked John to tone it down.

If this isn’t up your alley, it’s a series of four so you can pick and choose the Jen most suited to your needs. You’ll be seeing a lot of JL in the upcoming months as she ramps up for the Mother! PR blitz.