Earlier this week, Buckingham Palace made an announcement that Kate Middleton is pregnant with her third child. She’s had to be excused from royal engagements because she has legendarily bad morning sickness. Everyone is super pleased because you can’t deny that William and Kate make very cute babies. Also I suspect that Kate enjoys being pregnant because it gives her a break from media complaints that she doesn’t do enough.
On the other side on the pond, Kim Kardashian has been secretly waiting to deploy her bombshell, she has been oddly quiet sitting through TS’ disses, Bey’s birthday and watching everyone congratulate the other pregnant princess. TMZ is reporting that Kim and Kanye are having a third baby via surrogate and that the new West baby is due in January. Also personally, I think New West would make a great follow-up name to North West.
Somewhere in the background, Kris Jenner is secretly hatching some sort of twenty year plan to marry off the Kardashian-West children to the Spencers to create some global-mega celebrity union. I wouldn’t put it past her.
Last week 4:44 dropped and Jay Z had a good week. There were a million think pieces about the album as a response to Lemonade (he is forgiven!) and everybody got back on Tidal to have a listen. Everything is cloud nine in the life of Jay Z, it appears.
But then, the Kardashians came around to wipe him from the headlines, it didn’t take that long. Historically, it’s always seemed like Jay and Bey have a particular aversion to the K-squad. Jay wasn’t there for the Kimye wedding, Kanye has said that North and Blue have never played together (WHY) and every six months or so, some press comes out about how Beyonce thinks Kim is tacky. It could be that it’s all a fake-out and that they have super secret picnics together in Delaware every July, but I doubt it.
So this morning, Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna had it out on Twitter/Instagram again. The last time they had a public spat, everyone was fairly sure that it was to promote their new reality TV show (Kris Jenner, momager of the decade) and it sank beneath the ocean with our short attention spans. This time, Rob has come out to say that Blac was using him for money the entire time (surprise!), she cheated on him their entire marriage (surprise?), and that she had had a threesome with T.I. and Tiny. He also posted her nudes, so if you’re on Instagram and you follow them, there should be some Blac Chyna vagina in your feed. Also nipples, I think, I’m not actively looking for them. It’s trending #1 on Twitter right now.
If you were Jay Z, and you spent years putting together this album. A confessional album that bares your soul, asks forgiveness from your wife, your audience, from all the people that you’ve wronged over the years – would you be cool with the Kardashians upstaging you over a social media fight? Wouldn’t this be another notch in your belt as to how much you dislike these people already? 4:44 went platinum in less than a week, and everyone is more focused on tweets, possible jail times and Arthur George socks. Jay Z likes to hold his grudges, he may not get over this one in a hurry.
These days celebrity gossip has mostly taken a backseat to all of the atrocious things happening around the world. When was the last time anyone cared when two people broke up? (maybe Brad and Ange, but even they’ve gone strangely silent in the meantime) but the one thing that hasn’t gone completely out of style is the constant Kardashian outrage. I would humbly submit that even that has decreased in volume over the last six months (with the exception of that Pepsi flub) but there’s something about that family that rubs people the wrong way and makes them forget all rhyme and reason.
Example in point, people are accusing Kim Kardashian of blackface in this Instagram post to promote her new line of make-up. Hoo boy.
There’s a video circulating of North West shouting at the paparazzi “Don’t take photos!”
She’s four years old.
Some of it is, I assume, is in reaction to her mum Kim, who most likely has a phone in her hand for every occasion to take photos and the other half is heartbreaking, because these grown ass men and women are chasing her around and her four year old self has had enough and is telling them to go away. They will probably never go away.
You know this bill has passed and hopefully it has helped other kids in the spotlight. In the meantime, if you see articles on North West, please don’t click on them, it’s only exacerbating the problem. Do you remember Britney? Britney was in her twenties and she couldn’t handle it (see image), imagine what that does to a kid.
Who can rock a glow-in-the-dark, pantsless, lace, sheer, tulle confection? Nobody. Nobody in the world.
No-one ever gives Kim marketing props, if she showed up in a black LBD there would not be a thousand posts like this one asking “what is she wearing?” So well played Mrs Kardashian-West.
(One of my friends says she looks like Zuul! Maybe she’s banking on our safe, dependable Ghostbusters love)
That’s a Givenchy?? What the huff?