Welcome back Shania Twain?

About two weeks ago, I was at karaoke with a group of friends when one friend (unnamed) chose “Man, I feel like a woman” – that old chestnut. And despite her best efforts to have me sing as well, I could only sink further into my (extremely dirty) seat because the cringe was too much. At the chorus, I maybe mumbled “Man… I feel like a woman..” Clearly, I am the most fun at karaoke parties.

A week later I was sitting with another friend Hynen and we were discussing Miranda Kerr serenading Evan Snapchat at their wedding with “Still the One”. Firstly, who knew Miranda could sing? and secondly, of all the love songs in the world, why that one?

There is a lot of naff 90s music that I can take, Backstreet Boys, Vengaboys, B*witched, The Corrs (who are borderline) but for some reason Shania’s songs are not transcendently cheesy, they don’t grow better with age, they just kind of .. grow mould.

And despite this, we seem to be in the middle of some sort of Shania-Twainaissance. Who else is excited for this album in 4 months time? 4 months! That’s half the gestational period of a baby. Someone explain the appeal to me, please.

Shania Twain Now

Katy Perry’s new Bon Appetit video is half-baked

In a nutshell, Katy’s new video has her literally cooked, she’s floured, basted, boiled and covered in spices to be served on a platter to .. rich men and Migos? These chefs know nothing about cooking. You don’t boil meat after you flour it. Der. You deep fry.

Katy Perry Bon Appetit

I have no idea what the clip is trying to say, it’s a mess. It’s supposed to be some campy, pro-sexual, empowerment message that ends up with her on a pole. It just comes off gross and whoever thought up this concept needs to be fired (is it the same team that came up with that stupid Chained to the Rhythm Disneyland clip?). Sorry Katy, try again.

It’s liberating to be Kendrick Lamar on the cover of Damn

He is Kendrick Goddamn Lamar, he has sold a trillion records and every critic from here to Belarus has lost their minds over To Pimp a Butterfly

Therefore:

Kendrick Lamar on the cover of Damn

Kendrick Lamar does not give a sh!t about what you think about his new cover album, in fact, Kendrick gives so little beans about it that he is 100% okay to front it with a white t-shirt and his eyes half closed against some rando brick wall. He knows you’ll listen to it regardless and that’s the point right? He could do anything on this cover and you’re going to still drop what you’re doing to talk about Humble; and I imagine to Kendrick who probably thinks about racism on the daily, that would be incredibly liberating.

There’s an interview with the graphic designer (I know, there’s a graphic designer on this thing??) in which he talks about making it loud and abrasive and bucking the design trend, so you know that even if they look like they haven’t thought about it, they’ve thought about it.

I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop /
Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor /
Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretchmarks /

Kendrick is on Damn, practicing what he preaches.

Harry Styles just released Sign of the times. Your move, 1D

Dear lord, I do not know what to do with this song. 



Excuse the language, but it fucking blew my socks off. Somewhere in Nashville, my girl Tay’s eye twitched at Harry positioning himself as the new motherforking general of Britpop.

It’s shades of Bowie, it’s shades of Queen, I think I can hear some Keane in there. There’s a background riff that pounds all of my nostalgia buttons. There’s six minutes of a choir slowly simmering and then crescendoing into a wall of sound. Plus for all that, his voice is. wow.

Welcome to the sign of the times. If the rest of the album is as strong as this, bow down all – Harry scorched the earth for his fellow bandmates – how can they compete?