Women in Hollywood on Elle Magazine November 2017

There’s been so many garbage men dominating the news for the last week, so thank goodness for the inanely good timing of Elle’s Women in Hollywood issue. Let’s admire some strong, positive role models shall we?

Laura Dern Elle Magazine November 2017

I straight up don’t ever recall anyone ever giving Laura Dern a front cover. Thank you Elle for finally giving Laura Dern what she deserves. She looks fabulous. Continue reading

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Mother! review: A home renovation nightmare

Mother!

Dear God, I have no idea what to say about this movie, or even to start to review it. In my movie alone, I counted three walkouts. That’s three people who will never watch another Aronfonsky movie. And even I’m leaning towards the fence of do I want to watch another claustrophobic, mentally-violent movie of a woman breaking down? Not really?

In short, the movie is about Jennifer Lawrence who is the wife to Javier Bardem, a poet with writer’s block. She spends a lot of time renovating their big, beautiful house and then they get some visitors, Ed Harris and Michelle Pffeifer ..and it all goes to sh!t. Continue reading

Jennifer Lawrence could have been Serena Van Der Woodsen

TCDGOGI EC217

So I’ve been revisiting Gossip Girl Season 1 on its 10th anniversary, and it’s exactly how I remembered it. I loved Serena’s enthusiasm, I was incredibly annoyed by Blair, I was impressed by Jenny’s gumption, but there are things that I’m picking up on the second time around that I missed before. Continue reading

A plague of Dior boxers on your houses

Christian Dior Underwear

Who doesn’t love some classic Dior? The house of iconic Oscar dresses, beautiful haute couture and lately, garbage bags posing as clothing. Which is to say, I think Dior is worried that it’s becoming obsolete, and so it’s going out of its way to market to millennials. Some brilliant marketing people must have sat in a room and asked themselves what millennials could afford in a Dior store that went something like this:

“Young people can’t afford our things! What should we sell them?”

“We can’t cut the prices of our dresses or our bags.”

“True true. Millennials can afford underwear right? They need to wear seven pairs a week. Let’s sell them branded Dior boxers.”

“Brilliant. We’ll make every celebrity partnered with our house wear them under sheer dresses.”

And thus, you can’t open a magazine without seeing these ugly things. Let’s run through some Dior crime (as always, Bella Hadid is NSFW)

Continue reading

Whatcha wearing? Jennifer Lawrence on Vogue magazine

Jennifer Lawrence John Currin Vogue

They say that print magazines are dying so everyone has been slowly upping the ante on their covers. Seriously, look at that. Jen looks like she rolled right out of a Rembrandt painting. Vogue commissioned the cover from painter John Currin, who is known for his satirical pieces (I think he might have pieces exhibited at MOMA if you’re anywhere near there).

My only tiny quibble is that there’s not much of Jen’s personality in there. Jen is a loud noise person, you rarely see her in this kind of repose. But I will assume that Vogue didn’t want Jen going full-Jen on their cover and asked John to tone it down.

If this isn’t up your alley, it’s a series of four so you can pick and choose the Jen most suited to your needs. You’ll be seeing a lot of JL in the upcoming months as she ramps up for the Mother! PR blitz.

Trailer thoughts: Mother!

About two weeks ago, I briefly talked about the teaser for Mother! the new movie directed by Darren Aronfonsky and starring our girl Jennifer Lawrence.

So now the entire trailer is out… and it still doesn’t make that much sense. Historically, Darren loves a movie where the protagonist loses their mind (Requiem for a dream, Black swan, does Noah count?) and it looks like Jen loses it from too much house renovation. I am onboard with this, because I am permanently tuned into the Life channel and am fairly sure that watching Tiny house, big living plus Househunters may make you dented in the head after a while.

Also possibly I’m desensitised, but I do not find lightbulbs filled with blood scary. I was raised on Stephen King, people. Unless it’s a lightbulb from the mouth of a deranged spider-clown, I’m mostly okay.

What I do find scary in this clip is that huge, hulking twenty year age gap between Javier and Jen. I mean it guess makes more sense that she’s married to Javier who can more likely afford a big, beautiful house in his forties and it’s not Jen and Chris Pratt trying to sack up for mortgage payments. But still. Uncomfortable.

Also can we have a Michelle Pfeiffer-naissance please? Right about now. It’s time for her to come back. She is greatly missed, someone give her more stuff to do. It did occur to me while I was watching this clip, that if it turns out that Michelle is somehow Jen’s mother (or mother!) I will very likely swear off Aronfonsky films forever. Don’t do this to me Darren.

Mother! trailer: Those voices inside your head

I had to watch this twice. Twice. And I still don’t know what’s happening other than Jennifer Lawrence is opening a door and people are yelling at each other inside her head.

Google describes it as “A couple’s relationship is tested when uninvited guests come to their home.” I’m not sure how I’m supposed to get that from this clip but okay then!

On the other hand, look at this poster – it’s pretty great, it doesn’t look anything like our girl Jen, but it’s pretty great all the same. Keep the poster maker and fire the trailer editor.

Mother! Jennifer Lawrence