Robert Pattinson’s quest for a New York hot dog

It’s possible that Robert Pattinson and I are soulmates. I also am on a constant, unending journey to find myself a hot dog that will bring (more) meaning to my life. Although I do believe he might have solved his whole existential crisis by ordering from UberEats. You don’t even have to leave your hotel room Rob.

The Usher STD saga continues

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Usher is by far and away, killing it for the most interesting celebrity saga this year, with the ongoing lawsuit as potential herpes spreader extraordinaire.  Just when you think that it can’t get anymore sordid, the alleged victim Quantasia steps out for a press conference to defend herself.

Close your eyes and tell me what you see when you conjure up a hypothetical Usher lover. Does she look like Vivica A Fox or Nia Long? What does a typical groupie look like? Continue reading

Trailer thoughts: Mother!

About two weeks ago, I briefly talked about the teaser for Mother! the new movie directed by Darren Aronfonsky and starring our girl Jennifer Lawrence.

So now the entire trailer is out… and it still doesn’t make that much sense. Historically, Darren loves a movie where the protagonist loses their mind (Requiem for a dream, Black swan, does Noah count?) and it looks like Jen loses it from too much house renovation. I am onboard with this, because I am permanently tuned into the Life channel and am fairly sure that watching Tiny house, big living plus Househunters may make you dented in the head after a while.

Also possibly I’m desensitised, but I do not find lightbulbs filled with blood scary. I was raised on Stephen King, people. Unless it’s a lightbulb from the mouth of a deranged spider-clown, I’m mostly okay.

What I do find scary in this clip is that huge, hulking twenty year age gap between Javier and Jen. I mean it guess makes more sense that she’s married to Javier who can more likely afford a big, beautiful house in his forties and it’s not Jen and Chris Pratt trying to sack up for mortgage payments. But still. Uncomfortable.

Also can we have a Michelle Pfeiffer-naissance please? Right about now. It’s time for her to come back. She is greatly missed, someone give her more stuff to do. It did occur to me while I was watching this clip, that if it turns out that Michelle is somehow Jen’s mother (or mother!) I will very likely swear off Aronfonsky films forever. Don’t do this to me Darren.

The fashion in Glow: There’s an 80s outfit for everyone

There are a lot of things to love about Glow on Netflix, but what I loved most of all was the authentic 80s outfits and hair. The costumes don’t look like something that a stylist pulled out of Topshop, it looks exactly like the clothes of my childhood. I spent a good amount of time as a kid trying to get Jenny’s exact hairstyle – a long high ponytail to the side with a hairsprayed looping fringe. Of course, it never quite happened because my hair was never long enough, but that was the dream. Now it looks faintly ridiculous, and I’m sure people would laugh and point if I attempted that today.

But let’s take a walk through the fashions of Glow, what we can look at repeating and what should go permanently to a burn pile.

Glow Alison Green Nancy Reagan Dress

Continue reading

Anna Faris and Chris Pratt announce their separation

Chris Pratt Anna Faris

You know I thought those two crazy kids were going to last a long time. Obviously we have no idea what’s going on behind closed doors but I think a lot of people had high hopes that they would be this generation’s Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell. They seem down-to-earth and private enough that I don’t think that this will get messy – making an announcement on social media is a good start for amicableness. At least it wasn’t shots fired over the cover of People magazine (I’m looking at you Jolie-Pitts).

Chris Pratt Anna Faris Split

Kendall Jenner and the problem with tipping

Sometimes Kendall Jenner must just wake up in the morning, and despite being gorgeous, wealthy and famous, just hate being Kendall Jenner.

Because frankly, it must seem like people are gunning for her all the time. I mean, you think you try to do everything right and then a bar publicly shames you for not tipping.

Kendall Jenner receipt

Apparently Kenny went to Baby’s All Right in Brooklyn, paid for $24 worth of drinks and didn’t tip. So the bar decided to post the receipt on Instagram. For the official record, this is a dick move by the bar to capitalise on large-scale Jenndashian hate. Eh guys, I hope this was worth the 50 extra followers or whatever.

Secondly, no-one actually knows whether Kenny actually left a cash tip, if it was an oversight (y’know alcohol?) or whether she decided the server was sh!t and didn’t deserve one. Continue reading

The Carters on Instagram: Rollerskating and Friends

The Carters famously have their marital issues, resolved or unresolved we’ll never really know. But do you ever wonder if they’re somewhat competitive with each other? Here are two of the biggest stars in the world, doing what they do best. I don’t know what it’s like to have a spouse working in the same field, but I do know that sometimes my husband and I yell at each other over Scrabble. I can imagine that the Carter household is some therapy-inducing combination of constantly wanting to one-up the other while struggling with feelings of mixed pride and resentment.

So this just dropped:

 

The video for Moonlight is out on Tidal and it’s a showstopper of talent. Tessa Thompson! Issa Rae! Hannibal Buress! Alan Yang! People are talking about it because it takes on the Friends juggernaut (Yes Friends is undoubtedly a white show, but people take aim at it because it’s easy. How about Seinfeld? Everybody loves Raymond? Even my beloved Frasier?) Jay-Z is getting his moment in the sun.

Anyway while that is happening, Beyonce, who has nothing to promote, releases an Instagram video of her rollerskating. It may not mean anything at all, it’s possible she likes to rollerskate or it could be a pointed two fingers at a world who expects new mothers to stay at home. Who knows? But the timing is suspicious don’t you think? It swings the conversation back from Jay-Z to Beyonce and the post-baby body.

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