Whatcha wearing? Bella Hadid on the cover of Vogue Arabia

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I hate to be that person that compares one sister to another (it never ends well) but it has to be said that Gigi is much a better model than Bella, the Gigi Vogue Arabia cover is iconic, you can’t topple that mountain. I have said  before that I don’t really understand the hype around Bella, but you know Karl Lagerfield has given his blessing and that apparently means something in the modelling world. It’s an embossed stamp of approval. Continue reading

Whatcha wearing? Jennifer Lawrence on Vogue magazine

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They say that print magazines are dying so everyone has been slowly upping the ante on their covers. Seriously, look at that. Jen looks like she rolled right out of a Rembrandt painting. Vogue commissioned the cover from painter John Currin, who is known for his satirical pieces (I think he might have pieces exhibited at MOMA if you’re anywhere near there).

My only tiny quibble is that there’s not much of Jen’s personality in there. Jen is a loud noise person, you rarely see her in this kind of repose. But I will assume that Vogue didn’t want Jen going full-Jen on their cover and asked John to tone it down.

If this isn’t up your alley, it’s a series of four so you can pick and choose the Jen most suited to your needs. You’ll be seeing a lot of JL in the upcoming months as she ramps up for the Mother! PR blitz.

Angelina Jolie on Vanity Fair: She’s my BEC

I’m back from hiatus! I swear I’ll never leave you again. While I’ve been gone, this phrase started to float past me on various sites: BEC. BEC stands for Bitch Eating Crackers, it’s someone who annoys you no matter what they do, even if they’re just nibbling on a wafer, hence BEC. It doesn’t have to be rational.

Angelina Jolie Vanity Fair

Do you know who my BEC is? Angelina Jolie. And she’s in the press again with her new Vanity Fair profile. You know how the piece goes without reading it, she’s the ultimate mother , who pretty much only comes out of the woodwork to promote her new passion project – whether it be In the Land of Blood and Honey or Unbroken or this new Cambodian piece on Netflix. Blah, blah, blah, it goes into her history with the Billy Bob blood vial, her kiss with her brother, her estranged relationship with her father and my eyes closed involuntarily out of boredom. There hasn’t been a single profile of her in the last ten years that hasn’t mentioned these factoids infinitum. One day I hope to read that she’s joined a chess club or something.

And nothing annoys me more, then when Ange plays the martyr-victim. There’s a quote in the article where’s she asked about the impact of the divorce on the kids:

“And yet it seems she wants to get her point across, which calls for a careful choice of words, something of a high-wire act. “They’ve been very brave. They were very brave.”

Brave when?

“In times they needed to be.” Other statements are similarly cryptic. “We’re all just healing from the events that led to the filing . . . They’re not healing from divorce. They’re healing from some . . . from life, from things in life.”

Angelina is a put-upon wife, like I’m Blackbeard the scourge of the high seas. Don’t cast aspersions and manipulate, just come out and say what you mean. How about that?

And while there’s nothing wrong with making movies you believe in (hey Al Gore!) but her movies are all abominable, she can’t act and she certainly can’t direct. So. I’m looking at her filmography and there’s not a single good movie in there. 0/47. Those are some shitty odds.

So there you go, Angelina is my BEC. Thinking about her simultaneously irritates me and puts me to sleep. Who’s your BEC?

Whatcha wearing? Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik on Vogue magazine

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I’m of two minds about this. They’re gorgeous! The clothes are insane! They’re gorgeous! Those clothes are clown clothes! Maybe they’re sorting of pulling it off?That’s what happens when you are genetically blessed, people are less likely to notice that you and your boyfriend are wearing clashing prints.

I don’t know if it’s going to work out for these crazy kids, but at least they’ll have an excellent magazine cover to commemorate their relationship 20 years down the track.

We should also talk about how Vogue stepped in it by calling the clothes swap “gender fluidity”. Guys, wearing oversized floral trousers is not gender fluidity. It’s like they pulled out random buzzwords from a Dan Savage podcast because they couldn’t think of the trendy thing to say. It’s dumb, really dumb but are people going to stop reading Vogue because of it? I don’t know if the outrage is sustainable.

Whatcha wearing? Emily Ratajkowski on Harper’s Bazaar Australia

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When Emily Ratajkowski first came out in Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines, I was like “Who is this girl? She seems so brazen and funny!” And then of course, Robin Thicke dropped his career in the trash, nobody plays the song anymore and the only thing that came out of it was Emily Ratajkowski’s career. Sort of.

I haven’t been following her too closely, and I don’t know what her PR is doing, but she comes off as extremely thirsty, like she’s Lea Michele on steroids. Maybe she’s nothing like that in real life, I have no idea. But when she’s mentioned, I don’t think Blurred Lines first or even Gone Girl, I think selfieContinue reading

Whatcha wearing? Serena Williams on Vanity Fair

Serena Williams Vanity Fair

Wow. Vanity Fair is absolutely smashing it out of the park with their covers lately. Serena’s cover is a mic drop to all the haters over the years. Here’s my body as it is, my body wins international tournaments AND carries babies. It does it all.

Speaking of sexist bullshit, John McEnroe is not apologising for saying that if Serena was a man, she would be at a 700th ranking. Also he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore because that he doesn’t want to “upset her” in case there were “anything to go wrong with Serena[’s pregnancy].” She won the Australian Open while pregnant, I don’t think she is going to go into labour over your idiotic comments John.

Whatcha wearing? Mahershala Ali on GQ magazine

In a few minutes, he will go home and relieve his wife of baby duty. On the way to my car, I think about how few people there are like him. A man who holds an Oscar and a man from whom people hide their jewelry. His daily work is to make a living by being twice as indestructible, twice as powerful, yet half as threatening as an average white man. He is a winner in a country that seems to want people like him to lose. And perhaps, as he said, that can be misused as some kind of lazy peace offering. Here is a black man whose success proves that there’s nothing wrong at all.

I’ll just leave this piece for you to consider. If you have half a beating heart, you’ll fall in love with Mahershala Ali some more because of how thoughtful and considered he is about everything. And then afterwards, you can stare some more at how utterly blinding his smile is on the cover of GQ.

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