Trailer thoughts: Annabelle Creation

Once upon a time, my friend Fi and I sat down to watch Annabelle, and for some reason or another the copy we had was hardwired to French. We had to watch the entire thing with a lot of “Merde!” and “Mon Dieu!”, it was not a terrifying experience.

I don’t know if this is going to be a terrifying experience either and it’s in English. Screeching is not scary.

The nice trailer people have essentially given us the entire story in 2 minutes: An Australian couple (Miranda Otto and Anthony LaPaglia) lose their daughter to a car accident, they try to bring their daughter back to life by relocating her soul in a super-creepy doll. It doesn’t work out and it looks like Miranda Otto loses half of her face – Phantom of the Opera style, complete with appropriate mask. Meanwhile Anthony decides to lease out the place to a nun and a bunch of orphans. The doll’s soul (?) jumps out into the orphan with the wheelchair and the haunting OFFICIALLY begins.

I have so many questions.

What kind of idiots think it’s a good idea to relocate their daughter’s soul into a doll? Are they expecting the doll to become sentient? How would they explain that to the neighbours? If the experiment had worked, how would they explain that to their daughter? “Uh, well, you can never grow up sweetie. We transferred you into a Baby Born, We watched Interview with a Vampire and are certain we can work out all the kinks.”

Why would you hide a possessed doll in your house? Why not drive to Arizona, dig a big hole and drop it inside? Or take a ferry and drop the doll into the ocean? Or fill the doll with peanut butter and drop it in the middle of the local pound? I don’t know if the last suggestion will get you multiple possessed dogs but it’s still a better solution THAN HIDING IT IN YOUR HOUSE.

I must have missed it in the original Annabelle, but how does the soul splitting work? Does the demon go from doll to girl and then back again like a carshare? Or does it divide itself in half, and operate both at the one time .. like puppets?

So should I go see this? What are the chances my head will explode from trying to figure it out?

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