Taylor Swift and her new BF Joe Alwyn

Call off the FBI search, they’ve found my girl Tay alive!

Taylor Swift Jim Alwyn

She’s been gone for four months from social (there are people out there who are counting) and everyday it’s a new explanation as to where she is:

It has been confirmed by some iffy sources (The Sun, so please take it with some salt) that she has been hiding out in wigs and scarves with her new boyfriend Joe Alwyn in London. Joe is an upcoming actor (she really likes those English boys after Harry Styles set a precedent), and the thing that is most confounding everyone in the American press is that he still lives at home with his parents. I can only say in his defense, that every 26 year old in Australia wants to live at home with their parents because there is no affordable housing here at all. So you do you Joe.

This iffy source also says she’s a bit bummed that it got out. She’s probably also right to be a bit worried about how this will be seen; in a 24 hour news cycle, dating a female pop star more successful than you apparently renders you into a spineless handbag (see: the evolution of Tom Hiddleston’s image) Dating is hard enough without negative portrayals in the media added on top. If he’s well-adjusted, he might not mind so much. If he’s not, he might be saying laters right about now.


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