Be a man like Jason Momoa

America has been waiting for Jason Momoa. Screw the whole pop culture awakening of the sensitive male. That’s just increased our appetite for a man’s man who rides motorcycles, drinks Guinness, throws axes, and does the ‘Haka’ during his HBO audition instead of, you know, crying or something wimpy. – GQ 2017

The studios are trying to make Jason Momoa a thing, in the event that both the Rock and Jason Statham simultaneously break their legs.

Jason Momoa GQ 2017

GQ has released an interview with Jason Momoa pitching him as a man’s man. In case, you forgot he was made of muscle. That’s not a soft drink in his hand, that’s a beer.

Here is apparently what super masculine men do:

  • Hakas in the auditions instead of crying
  • Throws axes (at who?)
  • Camping
  • Rock climbing
  • Makes fires
  • Writes and directs movies about motorcycles (motorcycles! none of that sissy stuff for him, thanks very much.)
  • Teaches his kids about properly looking after knives (safety first.)

It’s possibly not Momoa’s fault that he is now being portrayed as the crown prince of lumberjacks. Granted, it’s not a particularly long article but he doesn’t seem to really speak much either. Maybe it’s part of his manly persona that he only grunts in reply when necessary.

Jason Momoa GQ 2017 cardigan

I see Jason Momoa climbing a rock in a $1000 cardigan and even I’m confused as to what GQ expects from its readers in 2017. Don’t cry, build things, buy expensive wool products to go on your hikes.

The rest of the article is, GQ making fun of us right? Right?

Jason Momoa is so perfect for America. It’s like his body was carved out of the oldest oak tree in the land, then given a blood transfusion from the wildest coyote, and then incubated in the still-warm carcass of the last buffalo on the Great Plains before being crowned with feathers from the only bald eagle not eating out of a dumpster behind a McDonald’s.

 

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